Tanvi S Parekh's Motherhood Mantra Deserves Every Mother's Attention

What feels like to be a mother? No matter how simple the question might look, it is tricky to answer this one. Being a mother is way more than just giving birth. It's a feeling hard to describe. The role of a mother isn't the easiest one to play. Motherhood brings along multiple challenges. Mom guilt, toxic glorification of being a mom, brutal criticism for not raising your child right, lack of support, and belittling of the role, motherhood can be taxing.

They say mothers can't have everything and if they aim for it, the world waits for them to fall. However, some mothers rise above it all and have a fitting reply for those who are constantly disparaging them.

With Mother's Day just around the corner, we at HerZindagi.com with our Good Mother Project intend to celebrate mothers who didn't give two hoots about the world, broke all barriers and continue to take up the role of a mother their way. Tanvi S Parekh is one such mother. Playing the role of a mom wasn't the easiest of journeys for this mom influencer and mental health therapist but she made it and how.

Being A Mom With No Support System

A lot of women give up their jobs after delivering a baby due to lack of support from their families. Tanvi S Parekh faced similar challenges post the birth of her child. Speaking of her biggest challenges as a mother, she said, “Lack of a stable and safe support system in our Indian society is a big challenge as a mother, you have no other option than depending on immediate families and in case you don’t even have that then it gets very hard for mothers to manage everything.”

Raising A Child Amid Brutal Criticism

Among the multiple challenges mothers have to overcome during their journey is the harsh criticism that comes their way. Society is quick to give its two cents on mothers who don’t fit into the ideal standards set by them. While a lot of mothers give in, others just don’t pay heed. On raising a child amidst the criticism thrown at her, Parekh said, “They were pretty brutal because anytime something small happened to my child, fingers pointed at me straight away along with some random comments thrown in the air instead of solid support. Since I decided to raise my child single-handedly with no support from my family or in-laws, this was often looked at with a lot of expectation to watch me fail. But it was a conscious decision me & my husband took, primarily to raise our child in a neutral environment. To date, it’s looked at with a lot of speculation. And such criticism doesn’t ever end, and comes from people who have nothing to offer otherwise.”

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Overcoming Mom Guilt

Moms often find themselves guilty of not doing enough. The societal pressures of becoming a ‘good mother’ and fitting into the mould makes many mothers feel at fault. Tanvi S Parekh too faced mom's guilt but she found a way to overcome it. Speaking of the same, she said, “Obviously I face mom guilt sometimes daily. It’s a part of motherhood. My advice is that you can never overcome it, you just learn how to navigate your life around it, so that you keep working hard and striving to be a good mother. One thing that helps is to continuously evaluate & re-evaluate your priorities. Make changes if needed, for the time being.”

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Toxic Glorification Of A Mom’s Role

Society is quite unfair to mothers. Motherhood is glorified like no other and over the years, everyone has failed to realise how toxic it can be. We asked Tanvi S Parekh for her take on the toxic glorification of mothers. She said, “The toxic glorification of moms who can manage their lives along with the lives of everyone who lives with them, no matter what age, of course, is unhealthy. Being a mother is one full-time job, managing a house is another full-time job and then on top of it if you plan to have a career that becomes another full-time job so in total this becomes three full-time jobs expected from one person with the same 24 hours in the day.”

“I think what is honestly needed right now is to make spouses, especially men and anyone else who lives in households to become equally accountable for maintaining and managing the house and stop behaving like pampered, patriarchal, spoonfed boys who want everything on the plate. The more men contribute to the scenarios, the more it will help ease the pressure on women, then I feel a woman can devote her remaining time to managing the kids and pursuing a career of their liking but society in general needs to encourage men to take equal responsibility of being a parent of managing their home. It’s gotta be a team effort if we want to raise healthy, happy mothers and kids,” she added.

Tanvi S Parekh’s journey of not giving up on society’s criticism and raising a child sans support is indeed inspiring. RIGHT? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section.

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