It has been ages and women in India have since forever been judged, ordered around, abused and manhandled and called the "weaker sex". It is that urge to show power or a mentality thanks to the patriarchal structure of society, it is utterly ridiculous and well a massively heavy debatable topic for sure. For now, just as a teaser, I would like to walk you through some sexist remarks - no not the ones said out loud by our Indian politicians as that I have tagged down below as a reminder- but remarks that we Indian women hear every day be it at work, with friends or at home.
Get some Roohafza mocktail or cocktail and take a sip if you have experienced it, or have been told so. Let's see how fast you finish that drink.
Swearing Is For Men, Speak Like A Lady!
Well, swearing is bad technically, for everyone, be it any gender, but why is the rule so different for women? I swear a lot when I am angry or too stressed as that is my only way of venting out. But I do have some male friends who make a face, get up and leave and simply say "nahi gaali nahi", I say "kyun bhai?"! When did swearing have a gender? Who makes these rules? Who are you? Also the line- "ladkiyon ke mu se achha nahi lagta", who says that it sounds good from a male's mouth? Yes agreed you swear when you do not have elders or kids around or out of respect - consider the situation, but that again stands for all.
'Oho Whiskey! You Like A Man's Drink? 'Tum Peeti Ho! Vodka Lelo Better Hai', 'Girls Shouldn't Drink Waise'
So are you saying that a man drinking is better? How? You look manly? How? There is nothing wrong with drinking if you know your limits and do not create a scene or drive. This stands for all! Also, there is no such rule written anywhere that a woman must have only light drinks. And no! Your "character" is just fine ladies!
Girls Do Not Sit Like That
Who decides? Society? Who is this society? Women can sit anyway. Don't men sit with their legs wide open? Sit in a posture that makes your body feel comfortable. You do not have to sit cross-legged if you do not like it.
Laughing Out So Loud
It is ridiculous how even our laugh bothers some blessed souls! I have been myself told that you should "tame your laugh" by another female friend. Now she said that because she herself has been fed that "rule" by her family and folks. Ladies, there is no truth louder and clearer than an open soul. You must do what you like. Laugh how you do, be yourself. If someone has an issue, they can seriously fend for themselves.
'Oh, You Can Play Video Games?!
Why the wonder? We can win too if you let us play without judgement you know.
Tattoos, Piercings = Character Assassination
Although now tattoos are very common, yet I have heard so many aunties have this regressive discussion especially at weddings "haye uska tattoo hai dekha aapne?". Your son has one on his neck too, why are you judging that girl? All tribal women have tattoos, many get their husband's branding done on their wrists (out of love is different, back in the day, young brides were forced and that practice still continues in some households), so what is the problem if it is a design or a line she likes?
Piercings are another topic of discussion which again has frankly no logic. What is the problem if she has her belly button pierced or her tongue for that matter? What is wrong? If you don't like it, STOP STARING!
Pretty = Lose Weight
"Bas tu thodi patli hoja, amazing dikhegi" - This dialogue, judgement, comment, has ruled my self-image for years and it took me a long time to stop caring. Who says that thin women look pretty? What does a pretty face have to do with her weight? She is like that! Let her be! Is it your body? Your chin? Your neck? If you want to discuss weight loss, do so for the right reasons like health issues, PCOD, Diabetes!
Get Rid Of That Body Hair, Women Should Not Have It
Ladies, get yourself waxed only if you want to. Shave only for yourself. Being a woman is not at all equivalent to a hairless body. Body hair is natural.
Girls Are Beautiful Only If They Have Long Hair
How many times were you told, or are still being told by anyone that "shaadi karlo fir jitne baal katwaane hai katwaalena"? My mom's friend said that to me once, but I have been trained not to snap back at my elders so I controlled. Ladies just one point I would like to make here - Why marry the man, the family, where you are judged by the length of your hair? It all begins there.
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If You Go To Work, Who Will Take Care Of The House?
Taking care of the house is everyone's business living in that home. Period!
Why Do You Have So Many Opinions?
This is a question many ask and it is sadly very common. I have met men and women who brush you off just when you start talking or giving your opinion ( I am not talking about 'gyaan'). Having an opinion is very important as it is proof that you are a living being, a person with a brain and a thinking mind. Do not let yourself believe otherwise. If someone cannot take your opinion, it is high time you lose such people in your life. In case it is some family member, "ek kaan se suno, ek kaan se nikaalo" unless you can argue healthily without the fear of facing unbearable aggression.
There are I am sure many more such remarks and I have probably just scratched the surface. Why do women endure such attitude and are questioned or judged is what we need to change.
Stay tuned to HerZindagi for more on dealing with regressive behaviour.