How I Overcame Postpartum Body Shaming That Triggered My Worst Insecurities

We women have been conditioned by society at large to be embarrassed about almost everything, especially how we look. Even today, society likes to tell us how we should fit in the gold standards put together by them to look ideal and we keep believing them all the time. Why? Largely because most of us measure our self worth by their perceptions of us. That's also one big reason why we often end up stereotyping ourselves.

All these years, the unrealistic beauty stereotypes weighed me down too. I was always an overweight kid. "Your mom is so tall and slim, she looks like your younger sister. Why don't you go to the gym?", "No one will marry you if you don't lose weight", "Boys love Katrina these days, they don't like fat girls", it never stopped and over time I developed a thick skin. However, little did I know that it would hit harder after giving birth, when my vulnerability was at its peak.

It wasn't a smooth pregnancy for me like many. Severe nausea, loss of appetite, multiple tests and a painful delivery. However, I bore it with a smile because I knew it would all be worth it in the end.

Post delivering my baby, I was showered with a lot of love and care by my family. I went through some major lows during the first 40 days, but my loved ones were always by my side. But, I had no idea that I would be subjected to brutal body shaming as soon as I stepped out.

40 Days Later

40 days later, I started going out, running errands, sourcing for my small business among other things. However, getting back to “normal” seemed impossible. I felt irritated, angry, sad all at once and all the time. All these post pregnancy feelings had taken over my mind and it seemed that there was no silver lining. I felt discouraged seeing those stretch marks, being out of shape –, the body insecurities were just too many. Each day, I tried to face my fears, it was a deliberate move to get back on the positive track.

I remember the first time I was ridiculed by an acquaintance at a shopping mart. “Have you conceived again?”, he grinned looking at my tummy. That one moment triggered all my worst insecurities. What followed was a lot of emotional eating, crying spells, and hours of staring at that little mommy pooch for days.

“'Have you thought of losing weight?”', “'Pehle kitni patli thi na tum? (You were slim before)”, “'Bacche ke baad weight badh he jaata hai (Women tend to gain weight after delivering a baby)”, the remarks were hurtful. It wasn't just about bouncing back to my pre-baby body, I had lost my confidence. I wanted to build back my self esteem and I knew it wouldn't happen overnight.

I Went On A Brain Vacay

I started by taking some time off. Well, a mom never really gets time off, but this was a brain vacay for me. So, what did I do? Most people try a ‘brain vacation’ when they experience a burnout creatively. However, for me, this brain vacay had a different definition. It helped me move away from all the negative thoughts that were piling up in my head through the months.

I started by watching my favourite shows online. It might not sound like the best idea at first but it worked for me. Instead of a box of tissues on my side table, I now had my iPad. Amidst carrying miscellaneous tasks around the house and nursing my little one, I had my eyes glued to my favourite show or movie everyday. I remember walking around the house with my iPad, watching a funny episode, having a good laugh because I also wanted to maintain mobility by the end of the day (I think it was a clever move). I would sleep thinking of the best moments I watched, looking forward to another exciting episode to watch the next day.

This lasted for a short period, but I do not recommend binge watching to anyone as it can be harmful for our sleep pattern and physical health.

I Stopped Stepping On The Weighing Scale

There was a weighing scale placed right next to the help desk at the childcare hospital I visited with my baby for regular checkups and vaccinations. While my husband held the baby, I would run to the weighing scale. It was a disappointment as usual. I would whine about the weight gain on our way back home, always.

One day I took it to heart and turned to restrictive eating. I started skipping my dinner, thinking it would fix everything for me but it backfired. I was still feeding my baby and there was a sudden drop in the milk supply.

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That weighing scale hurt me more than it helped. I started searching about postpartum weight gain online and found an article on ways women can stay positive during the postpartum phase. It said that women should completely avoid stepping on the weighing scale during this period as they are recovering and can't do much to get back to their pre-pregnancy body. That was it.

I was still recovering and didn't have the energy to get into any physical activity. Also, the hormones were playing up so I couldn't actually do much to control my increasing weight. It took a while but I realised it was time to ditch the weighing scale till I was ready physically and mentally to lose the added kilos.

Got A Daily Dose Of Positivity From My People

I wanted to do things that brought me joy and it came through speaking to my people, my family. (Expert shares how to build positivity) We would talk about how our lives changed with the arrival of the little one, do little things like cooking a meal together, going out for dinners. These baby steps helped me feel super positive. Being close to people who loved me unconditionally helped me see my worth and boosted my confidence and I eventually navigated through the negatives. Like they say, it is always the little things that make the big things happen.

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Becoming a mother is a life-changing experience. Your body will undergo major transformation postpartum but it will all be easier for you if you keep your focus set on the positives. Just celebrate embarking on this new journey, live to the fullest through the highs and lows and embrace all your imperfections with open arms. However, if you reach a point where you feel it is too much to handle, speak to a doctor. Share your symptoms and it will help you cope better.

If you are a new mom and wish to share about your postpartum journey, write to us on our social media handles and we will be happy to share your story!

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