While growing up, you might have heard people saying, “I am a one-man woman” or “I am a one-woman man”. This idea has been engraved in our minds so much that even if we want to, we cannot get rid of this ‘ethical’ way of having relationships. Well, what happens, in this case, is that sometimes people commit their partners and sometimes they even get married, but their needs are not met.
Dr. Anuneet Sabharwal, MBBS MD Psychatrist also Founder and Director at The Happy Tree told HerZindagi that "these needs are mostly sexual, if you need someone else to support you emotionally, then are you even with the right person? People have tried finding solutions to this problem of how to stay with a person in commitment and yet not compromise on their sexual needs; the outcome though has resulted in cheating more than often. Would not you rather want an agreement with your partner in which they know you go out and see other people than cheating on their back and having the guilt?"
This concept might be new in India, but psychiatrists feel that couples in open relationships are 20 percent happier and there are no chances of cheating on anyone too."
Here is a proper understanding by her on how can an open relationship help you both stay loyal and happy with each other."
- There might be chances that you love your partner a lot but that just does not feel enough for you. So, why be in the regret? Just talk it out before you blow it off.
- Sometimes even your first relationships hit off and then some years down the line you realize that you have not explored enough to know that this is it. So maybe, going out with other people might satisfy your curiosity.
- If you have not been clear about your sexuality lately, this is the best option for you to understand how you feel with the same gender.
- Maybe one of you is asexual and the other one loves sex. Now it is upon you to decide, can you share your partners' sexual needs with someone else?
- Your relationship is boring and you just want to try something new to spark it a bit.
Now many times, people who do not understand the clear words ‘open’ ‘relationship’ say that it is like cheating on your partner. To clear their doubts, we have some answers. Being in an open relationship is a choice made by two people. So, if you and your partner are agreeing to have sex out of your relationship, it is not cheating. The other person is very well informed about your actions and they have signed up for it willingly.
Nevertheless, we do understand that introducing this concept in a relationship can be tricky. To help you with that, we have shortlisted some rules that might help both parties to keep this kind of relationship healthy and ethical.
- Do not spend more time with secondary partners.
- Let the new person know about your relationship status
- Do not try and hide things with your partner. If you have an issue, talk it out.
- Do not date or sleep with anyone you know, you have had a past with or are somehow related to you.
- Have safe sex; you do not want to get into any kind of trouble
The concept of jealousy in open relationships:
That’s normal to feel jealous and build insecurities when you start with something as new as an open relationship. There have been instances of partners freaking out when they find about their other half having sex with someone else, even when they knew it was what they agreed to.
However, with time things start getting to normal. You slowly understand that this is what is needed and this is what is making your partner happy.
Also, it might make you feel better if you think it this way: Your partner might be meeting new people, having sex, and getting drunk with other people but in the end, they come back to you. So, you are just sharing their body with other people whereas their heart remains with you.
Stay tuned to HerZindagi for more from experts.