Why We Fall In Love, How To Keep The Spark Alive: Expert Shares Insights

From Imtiaz Ali to Gulzar Sahab, everyone tried to portray love through words and picturisation. Yet, the real definition of love and why we feel certain emotions for someone is still under wraps. Even the best possible definition of love is unable to clarify the in-depth concept. There is no denying that love is the most beautiful feeling in the world, it’s the most complicated human emotion that even intellectuals and scientists are unable to uncover. Since the concept of love came into the picture, its definition evolved with generations. From the 80s to 90s and now in 2024, the definition of love has changed but the feelings are the same.

Beneath the romance and mystique, however, lies a plethora of biological and behavioural reasons for why we fall in love and what keeps the relationship going over time. The science of attraction offers intriguing insights into how humans establish bonds and maintain relationships, ranging from hormones to behavioural patterns. We spoke to Ms Sybil Shiddell, APAC Manager, Gleeden, to understand the science behind attraction and what keeps it going.

Why Do We Fall In Love?

Ms Sybil Shiddell said, “A small, seemingly inexplicable spark, a burst of enthusiasm or an immediate bond with another person often ignites attraction. Although it has a mystical quality, biology and psychology behind it.”

Here are the reasons that makes us fall in love:

Visual Characteristics And Equilibrium

Initially, a big part of who we are pulled to is based on physical attraction. Humans are predisposed to seek out symmetrical faces since they are frequently thought to be more appealing, according to studies. This inclination could have something to do with evolutionary biology since robust genes and good health are linked to symmetry. Individual tastes in beauty, however, differ widely and are influenced by a person, background, culture, and even social milieu.

Aromas And Pheromones

We may not realise how much our sense of scent influences attractiveness. Our bodies emit chemicals called pheromones, which are involved in sexual desire. According to research, people may be able to inadvertently identify genetic compatibility by smell, preferring those whose immune system genes differ from their own. It is believed that this biological inclination produces healthier progeny with more varied immunity.

Character And Reliability

Personality qualities that go beyond looks, such as intelligence, friendliness, and humour can add attractiveness to a person. Studies in psychology demonstrate that we are frequently drawn to those who share our interests, values, or upbringing. This process, called assortative mating, is a reflection of our natural propensity to find solace and camaraderie in similarities.

Eye Contact And Body Language

Body language, posture, and eye contact are examples of nonverbal cues that have a big impact on attractiveness. For example, looking at each other with open eyes generates oxytocin, sometimes referred to as the love hormone which enhances emotions of intimacy.

Brain Chemistry Of Love

In many respects, falling in love is like a natural high. It can seem exhilarating. Strong
emotional and physical feelings result from attraction and bonding, which flood the brain with
a cocktail of neurotransmitters.

Don't Miss:15+ Funny Quotes And Messages To Share With Family

Dopamine

Dopamine is the neurotransmitter in the brain, and it’s important for the joy, excitement, and fixation that come with falling in love. Dopamine is released by our brains when we are in the presence of someone we find attractive, which makes us feel happy and intensifies our desire to spend more time with them.

Vasopressin And Oxytocin

Known as the love hormone, oxytocin is created during sex and released during physical contact such as holding hands or embracing. It fosters emotional ties and trust between lovers. Comparably, another hormone that strengthens attachment and encourages enduring relationships is vasopressin, particularly following sexual contact.

Cortisol And Adrenaline

Adrenaline and cortisol, two hormones linked to the body’s stress response, contribute to the butterflies or excitement that one experiences when they are with someone new. These substances cause elevated heart rate, increased alertness, and an energy spike that is frequently seen during the initial phases of attraction.

Don't Miss:What Is Emotional Abuse: 5 Key Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

How To Keep The Spark Alive

Ms Sybil Shiddell talks about the Triangular Theory of Love by psychologist Robert Sternberg. She said that the theory provides a framework for comprehending the harmony required to maintain love.

This idea states that love is made up of three elements: commitment, closeness, and passion. Intimacy and commitment develop with time, resulting in a mature and long-lasting relationship, even though passion frequently rules the early going.

Sternberg contends that the three components of a perfect relationship:

• Devoted love (dedication to the partnership)
• Intimate love (emotional closeness)
• Passionate love (attraction and desire)

Long-lasting love is more likely to occur in relationships when these qualities are fostered.

Love and attraction are not only coincidental events; rather, they have profound biological,
psychological, and behavioural roots.

Image Courtsey: Freepik