The concept of virginity is extremely debatable a topic especially when we talk about it in India. Having intercourse, sex education, these are some discussion we never have openly exposing the hyporcisy of our "society" givben the poulation that we have. But when it comes to a woman's virtue, her sexuality and her not being a virgin, somehow it becomes everyone's business and the judgements passed are ridiculously shameful! Bringing up the concept of "losing" one's virginity, there are many facts that every must know wether she is a virgin or not anymore as you would surprised by how little you truly know to begin with except for what you have been told!
Here are some myths and lies around virginity that need to be cleared right now!
You were told that you lose your virginity when your hymen or that thin membrane breaks yes? Ladies, that is not at all true! Scientifically, this is not at all a mark of a woman's intact or not so intact virginity. A hymen can break even while horseriding, cycling, gymnasticks among other things. Some women do not even have one. So no your hymen is not a tell tale about your virginity.
You will have a loose vagina if you loose your virginity is the biggest lie ever and just to spell it out, no that does not happen. Even after years of intercourse your vagina will not become lose. The only factor which can lead to that is childbirth and old age.
Virginity Is Lost Only Once
Now to begin with, the concept of 'losing virginty' is itself so wrong in so many ways but you must know this ladies that whether you have lost your virginity or not is totally your decision! Only you get to decide when you 'lost it' as just above we mentioned that hymen breakage is not equivalent to losing it.
Tampon Usage Means You/She is Not A Virgin
This is an extremely ridiculous judgemental ladies! You use tampons to hold the menstrual blood, it is by no means an object of pleasure.
Masturbating = Viginity Lost
No, No, No! If you are masturbating, it is to please yourself and relieve your body of tensions and stress and to satisy your sexual needs. It is extremely healthy ladies and keeps you sane but no matter who says it to you (please correct him or her who has made you believe this), this is not you losing your virginity.
Sex Is In Marriage Is The Right Way To 'Lose It'
No this is so so wrong on so many levels. This is a lie we have been fed and it has been aroundin our so called "society" due to the patriarchichal strutctre where men like to put rules on women and then women eventually start believeing in them. If you keep an elephant tied to a tree since his baby days, even when you stop it after years, he will get used to the idea of being bound. So, you can have ibtercourse when you want, it is your body, your temple.
You should do it when you are firstly, comfortable and secondly, want to do it! All kinds of intercourse is good as long as you like it and are happy in the act. You do not have to be married to do it, something which has been engraved in our minds since forever. Hoe come men are not questioned? Think about it.
Losing It = Bleeding, Pain
It is said and most of us believe that your first time is very painful and you will definitely bleed, so even if we feel like dong it, our bran makes us contract and hide due to the mere fact. Later I was explained to by my gynae that it is not the same with all. Every body reacts differently so how much you bleed, wherher you will or not and the pain, is different for all. Even the pain, it depends on your partner they handle you. Also, hymen breakage is not the only reason behind the bleeding or the pain.
Virginity = Purity + Likeablity
Says who? Society? Do you know their dark secrets? Oh sorry, hypocrisy? Your secual status is no one's business to begin with and if someone does not like you on the basis of it, then what are they doing in your life?! Also, your virgnity has got nothing to do with purity or impurity, it is your heart and mind which should be pure.
Be safe, don't let others decide what is good for you and what is not. Your sexuality is yours ONLY!
Stay tuned to HerZindagi to bust more myths you had been or are being forced to believe in.