Establishing boundaries with others as well as yourself is an important aspect of progressing in life. It ensures growth both on interpersonal and intrapersonal levels. It allows you to recognise the needs of your mind and body. By establishing healthy boundaries, it encourages you to take better care of yourself—emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Arpita Bhandari, Life Strategist, Transformational Facilitator andFounder of Arpita B Design Studio, shared with HerZindagi, how it is essential to recognise your needs and feelings and acknowledge them as being as important as other people’s needs and feelings.
"This can be a challenging lesson to learn for several reasons. For one, we live in a collective society and are often taught and are expected to put other people first. Consequently, we also learn through modeling from our parents and the values and morals we imbibe from them that we must care for our fellow man," she said
"As you grow up, you learn things about yourself and those around you. In order to learn about yourself to the fullest potential, you must learn to prioritize your needs and desires before others. This can be done by establishing boundaries with others and yourself. It’s equally important to note that when you first start this journey, it may be accompanied by a range of emotions and it’s okay to feel those emotions. It’s crucial to step out of this conditioning and realise that you are still a “good person” if you put your needs before those of others.
"The absence of boundaries may lead you to self-sabotage. When an individual lacks the insight that he/she lacks boundaries and is always available for others in times to need and is often has an image of being a “giver”, on the surface, it might appear that things are smooth but the person may be self-sabotaging by failing to prioritising his/her needs and desires," Bhandari added.
Boundaries can be:
The person may have intimacy issues and lack close relationships, they usually have trouble asking for help. They have few close relationships. They might often seem to be detached, remain distant to avoid any kind of rejection.
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The person values his own opinion, they don’t compromise on their own morals and values for other people, they appropriately share personal information, they are accepting of others when they say no to them,
The person is over-sharing his personal information. They have trouble saying no to the requests of others. They are often seen as “people pleasers” They get over-involved with other’s problems. Due to a lack of boundaries, they may even tolerate abuse or disrespect.
Bhandari shared that "it’s imperative that you introspect and reflect on your relationship with yourself and others. Boundaries are an important aspect of any relationship in this world. By establishing healthy boundaries, you can learn more and more about yourself and others."
We wish you a healthy relationship and stay tuned to HerZindagi for more tips on how to avoid a toxic relationship with expert inputs.