Navratri 2023: Siddhidhatri Is An Awarder, But Women Must Make It To The Receiving End

Today is the last day of Navratri, and people worship Goddess Siddhidhatri. She is a supernatural power and known for awarding her devotees. She is known to fulfil all her aspirations and is believed to be by the side of Lord Shiva. Hence, the world also knows the form of Ardhanarishwara.

She has four hands that hold a conch shell (shankh), discus (chakra), lotus and mace. She is surrounded by Yakshas, Gandharvas, Asuras, Siddhas and Devas. In many descriptions, everyone is seen paying respect to the goddess.

While she is the epitome of a giver, women are mere humans. However, they are always expected to be like the supreme power and give away everything they have.

Women Are Expected To Give

Women for long have been the epitome of selfless love. They are the givers. As daughters and wives, they are the form of Goddess Lakshmi, who fills the home with wealth and gives the family a chance to prosper financially.

Women give birth. The excruciating pain of delivery and postpartum struggles are often romanticised in the name of motherhood. They give up their whole life taking care of kids, family members and husbands.

The moment a girl is born, she is considered someone else’s property (paraya dhan). At an early stage, her training begins to serve the interests of others. In contrast to her brother, she would learn to offer water, tea or coffee to guests.

As opposed to sons, she would learn to cook so that she could feed her current and future families. She is asked to brush off period pain or body aches because how else would she be able to bear the pain of childbirth?

She gives away her freedom to travel alone, wear whatever she wishes and behave in a certain way in the name of culture. She is often told to stay inside so that her safety is not compromised, but abusers are mostly her relatives.

A woman gives away her financial freedom because she has been told that patriarchs are better at making decisions related to money. She gives away her right to education because the sons of the house have to be given the preference to get literate.

A woman lets go of her wishes because she has been conditioned to think that her family comes first. She puts the needs of her husband, in-laws and kids ahead of her own.

She will give up on food so that her family sleeps with a full belly. She will not speak up to ensure no tiffs happen between her loved ones. She will let go of her desires so that her partner does not feel incompetent.

Women give up on promotions because of gender discrimination in the workplace. She will leave her career behind to take care of her kids and family. She will let go of a position if it does not set in tune with the needs of her loved ones. She will continue to work at a lower pay scale because of pay parity issues.

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Why Do Women Never Seek?

Women have always been told since birth that they have to be givers in the family. Parents never say to a girl, “Go and conquer the world.”

We always see our elders advising women to compromise and adjust because, in the end, it is their duty to maintain peace in the family. She has to ensure that her dreams do not come in the way of the upbringing of her kids, the convenience of her husband and the wishes of her in-laws.

During the wedding, she is given away to the husband and with that, she is advised to abide by the standards of his family. She is never told to speak her mind, express her feelings, chase her dreams and fulfil her wishes.

In our society, a woman is expected to do it all without causing anybody any sort of inconvenience. She is expected to give one part of her after another until the day she dies.

When she starts seeking, we try to shame her for making a bold choice. The world labels her a bad wife, mother, daughter and daughter-in-law. When Kareena Kapoor stepped out to have a meal with Saif Ali Khan a week after her delivery, she was called out for leaving her infant at home.

When Priyanka Chopra embraced motherhood by welcoming Malti Marie Chopra Jonas via surrogacy, everybody called her ambitious and not ‘womanly’ enough. Even when Aishwarya Rai Bachchan holds Aaradhya’s hands in public places, she is classified as a possessive mother.

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What Can Be Done?

From the aforementioned examples, it is clear that the world is never happy with whatever choices a woman makes. The patriarchal idea remains that a woman has to be selfless, must be giving and not do anything at the cost of the inconvenience to her family.

What we can do is change the way we think. Women seeking out must support other women who are chasing their dreams. We have to be cheerleaders for others so that along with giving, we can receive too.

We have to give women platforms to voice their opinions, opportunities to shine, tools to grow, encouragement to fulfil dreams and nudges to never give up. Only then we can expect women to be seekers too.