Imagine this: You’re at your go-to coffee shop, ordering your regular cappuccino when the barista gives you a bonus smile extra crisp and joke-ly remembers your order. You share a few sweet words, perhaps a playful joke and, in an instant, your day seems a little more gilded. Nobody exchanges numbers, nobody makes any commitments, it’s just a brief but emotionally charged connection. But hold on, this isn’t for single people seeking love in hopeless places. It turns out, that married couples, long-term relationships, and even divorced individuals testing the dating waters are taking up Micromancing to bring some sparkle to their day. It’s not really cheating, it’s not really a commitment, just microdoses of romance added in everyday dealings. We spoke to Sybil Shiddell, Relationship Manager, Gleeden, India to understand more about this trend.
What Is Micromancing?
Sybil Shiddell said, “Micromancing can be thought of as romantic encounters with small flirty moments that hit you like a dopamine snack without the full dinner of a committed relationship. It’s the tiny crush on the person you always spot at the gym, the flirty chat with your colleague or the thrill of charming messages that deep dive into past playful chit-chat. It’s about being wanted and attracted to someone without a real relationship’s baggage.”
Why Are Married Couples Micromancing?
Before you clutch your pearls and shout “INFIDELITY!”, you must know. Micromancing is not cheating on your partner but you can say it’s a form of harmless external validation. Long-course relationships can settle into predictable patterns, and sometimes, a little flirtation outside the marriage helps remind people that they still have it.
Psychologists even claim that light, non-serious flirting can build confidence and even, in some cases, strengthen marriages. It’s like a little ego boost that keeps your energy up when you’re rejoined with your partner. Of course, there’s a grey area between acceptable Micromancing and emotional cheating, but for many, it’s about just feeling attractive and desired outside of a primary relationship.
The Divorced And Ready-to-Micromance Club
Dating after divorce is a whole other game. Diving directly into a serious relationship after years (or decades) of commitment can be a lot to take on. This is why so many newly single people are embracing Micromancing, little romantic encounters that bolster confidence without the emotional commitment of actual dating.
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It’s a flirty conversation with a stranger, an insouciant dating app talk that leads to nothing, or just the sensation of being seen again. (A lot of people post-divorce aren’t ready for “The One” yet they just want to discover the pleasure of being desirable, with no pressure.)
Is Micromancing A Problem Or A Perk?
According to Sybil Shiddell, as with anything in life, Micromancing is a balance. When done right, it can be an innocent way of building confidence, injecting excitement into life, and reminding people that attraction is possible without having to commit. But when micro becomes macro, aka sneaky meetups, emotional attachments or actual cheating where things can get messy.
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