In an exclusive interview with HerZindagi for the Good Mother Project, which is a celebration of bothmothers’ and Mother’s Day, Sucheta Pal spoke her heart out about motherhood and she came across as an exceptionally fresh and unfiltered person. Known for her positive energy, Sucheta Pal is the perfect example of living one’s dreams with pure grit and passion via ‘alternate careers’ despite all odds.
During the conversation, an important question came up: Should a mother really worry about how she looks or feels when she has a child to care for? This opened the door to a heartfelt discussion about motherhood – the ups and downs, the challenges, the joys, and the deeply personal experiences that come with raising a child.
View this post on Instagram
She is a wife, a mother to a three-year-old son, a celebrity coach, fitness trainer, and a presenter all in one. But at her core, she defines herself as a teacher and that is who she tries to be in each role she plays in life. “I peed my pants on stage in front of five hundred people. Thankfully it was dark so no one could see anything but I knew what I was doing.” This is how raw and unfiltered Sucheta Pal is as a human being, a mother, and much more. We bring you the story of Sucheta Pal, a lady who dons many hats. She is one of India’s most renowned health and wellness coaches and the first master trainer for zumba in the country who focuses on women’s postpartum health.
View this post on Instagram
Sucheta Pal On What Is Motherhood? Choosing Motherhood In Her 30s
View this post on Instagram
Sucheta Pal shares that your 20s can often feel uncertain, as many people are still working out what they want from their careers. But by the time you reach your 30s, there’s usually a bit more clarity. It’s when thoughts of settling down, starting a family, and raising a child begin to take shape. She points out that today’s women are ambitious and focused on building their careers, and she relates to that completely. Sucheta says she always had big goals for herself, and while she hadn’t planned every detail, she did feel ready to embrace motherhood once she felt secure in her career in her mid-30s.
A vocal supporter of the challenges that come with motherhood, Sucheta affirms that the decision of motherhood is not an easy one. She made the decision and became a mother at 37, when at the peak of her career.
Attached to this, another idea that Sucheta rightfully pointed out is that with the birth of a child, a whole new universe opens up that challenges us but also gives us the opportunity to set out on a once in lifetime adventure. She adds, “But when motherhood strikes, we don’t know what’ll happen to us, no matter how many people tell us their experiences. Pregnancy makes us wonder what is happening to our bodies, it is a roller coaster with the first trimester being hell.” She further says, “I couldn’t have eggs, I love eggs, the smell was horrible and I was throwing up all the time.” “Just imagine yourself being on stage and flying high and then suddenly you can’t poop. You wonder what is happening to my life?”
Sucheta believed the challenges she faced during pregnancy were tough enough – until she went through a C-section delivery. She described it as feeling like she'd been hit by five trucks at once. In sharing her story, she bravely highlighted the often-unspoken struggles of motherhood. Many women hesitate to talk about these difficulties because of the guilt tied to expressing them, and because society tends to glorify childbirth while overlooking the emotional, mental, and physical toll it takes on a woman.
Balancing Strength and Expectations: The Silent Struggles of Modern Motherhood
View this post on Instagram
“People suddenly consider you just as a mother, it is like everything that you have done until then becomes unimportant. Your identity as a woman and a human being first becomes irrelevant,” says Sucheta. She adds, “I consider myself as a very sexy woman in terms of the energy I have, my personality and my on-stage image. But I found that I was suddenly banished from all those roles and fixated only on being a mother. On top of this, one doesn’t have any control over their hormones. People don’t even realise that with a child a new mother is born and it takes some time to warm up to that role.”
Sucheta unapologetically adds, “I didn’t breastfeed, my baby was on infant formula.” She further says that she didn’t feel any ‘mamta’ for the first three months of motherhood.”
The ace zumba trainer further adds, “Even though I had decided that I didn’t need a vaginal delivery and wanted to go for a C-section, societal pressure forced her to undergo twenty-four hours of labour pain.” This highlights societal judgement on everything right from when you conceive to delivering the baby either through vaginal or a C-section delivery, a choice to breastfeed or not, etc. She further says added, “Something inside me did not make me comfortable, hence, I did not breastfeed my baby and that does not make me not a good mother.”
Understanding the Real Transition Into Motherhood
View this post on Instagram
Sucheta mentions, “Thankfully I didn’t go through postpartum depression but I did go through postpartum blues which is a toned-down version of the former.” She adds saying, “There was a point when I was angry and thought that why did I do this? And I think 99% of women think about this.”
Women who are new mothers feel overwhelmed with questions like how is the baby doing and nobody asking how she is doing. There is a sense of jealousy and anger felt thinking that “Did I suddenly disappear?” Top this with the fact that you feel that how can one be jealous of their child or how can one feel that burden to not be allowed to feel free without any guilt.
Sucheta believes it’s really important for close family and friends to remind a new mother that she’s still her own person beyond being a parent. She feels it’s their role to make her feel supported, loved, and seen not just as a mother, but as the woman she was before having a child. It's about helping her hold onto her identity and reassuring her that there’s still so much more ahead for her in life.
Postpartum Healing: Emotional And Physical Recovery After Pregnancy
View this post on Instagram
“I am a mainstream fitness coach in the industry and it took me time to feel like myself again.” Sucheta shares an extremely intimate secret with us that she peed on herself due to urinary incontinence while teaching a zumba session, two months after her delivery in Bengaluru. She adds that the experience made her realise that her body has changed and that she had to be patient with herself and educate herself on how to heal her body.
What truly pushed Sucheta to shift her focus to women’s health, especially mothers, was her own journey through motherhood. It became a turning point in her life. Struggling to find the right guidance and support in India, she decided to look beyond and pursued an international certification that focused on women’s health, particularly for mothers. This new path led her to launch her own postpartum fitness programme called MOM.BOD.STRONG, aimed at helping mums take care of their bodies and minds after childbirth.
The MOM.BOD.STRONG Program Offering Postpartum Fitness Program For Moms
View this post on Instagram
You can check the MOM.BOD.STRONG By Sucheta Pal program out for yourself here.
It focuses on how women should first heal their bodies before doing things like weight-lifting, running a marathon, or trying zumba. She shares, “Being a mainstream coach who instructs postpartum fitness and has been in the industry for the last fifteen years. It took me three years to feel sexy again.” She adds that there are unreal standards of bouncing back postpartum advertised on Instagram and advises us to take everything we consume on the platform with a pinch of salt. She also advises everybody to be educated on how to heal their postpartum bodies as per their time.
She further shares an anecdote saying, “Last year in August I went to the US and was back on stage giving a 90-minute session and this time I could do it without peeing in my pants.” This goes to show that she didn’t let the prior experience of her urinary incontinence define her and she worked on herself thereon.
Why Self-Care Matters for Mothers
View this post on Instagram
Questions like are you even a good mother if you are taking the time out for yourself to go for an hour-long zumba session, self-care, meditation, and yoga class when you could be feeding your child? The societal judgement that burdens the women who take time to rebuild themselves both physically and mentally is immense.
Sucheta in this context answers unabashedly, “How can you take care of your baby if you’re not at the optimal level of your health.” She adds that while it is okay to have an aspiration of having a flat belly leading a happy, joyful, and healthy life is all the more important.
Sucheta also let us in on the mantra she gives to all her postpartum women clients saying, “Move better to feel better to look better. The foundation of which is to move better. Postpartum health varies from person to person and could range from healing in a month to a year to 10 years. The poignant point is, are you going to do it for society or yourself?”
How The Burden Of Motherhood Causing A Loss Of Identity For A Woman
View this post on Instagram
It is a challenge for a woman to carve a space for herself post pregnancy and women face a loss of their identity. Sucheta says,” Being a partner or a mother is a part of our lives but teaching is my core identity. In all the roles I essay, including that of a coach, a mom, or a presenter, being a teacher has been the core of my identity.”
Guilt Attached To Seeking Help As A Mother
View this post on Instagram
While becoming a mom is filled with love and joy, many mothers around the world quietly carry the heavy weight of guilt. This "mom guilt" often creeps in unexpectedly, especially when asking for help. There’s a silent pressure that makes many women feel that needing support somehow means they’re not doing a good enough job, when in reality, it’s just part of being human.
To this Sucheta says, “Today I just get four hours to work during a day when my son is out for his play school and I'm so focussed in that time to do interviews, make reels, stories and plan a workout for clients, etc..” She adds, “If you feel the guilt of motherhood and put that on the child and he will actually feel it.”
She further says, “Women need to remind themselves that it is okay to feel guilty and still give yourself time as a mother and assure yourself that you are a good mother.”
Don't Miss:Dr. Madhu Chopra: The Mama Who Took The Road Less Travelled And Raised Global Star Priyanka Chopra
View this post on Instagram
Who Is A Good Mother & If There Is A Benchmark?
View this post on Instagram
While strange benchmarks are set by society right from the moment when you decide to be a mother, who decides if you are a good mother or not?
On this, Sucheta says, “All of our kids will need therapy, you cannot control that. We need therapy and our parents were amazing.” She adds, “What is important is to think about what I can do within my capabilities to ensure that my child is safe and healthy. I don’t care about what he becomes in life or who he marries, those are his decisions. But it counts if he can process life situations with emotional intelligence and if he can be an empathetic individual. Also, he should realise that we live on Earth with people and nature and that we should protect it as much as we can. Furthermore, if I give him the basic values that will help him navigate life, that will make me a good mother.
Image credit: Instagram
Take charge of your wellness journey—download the HerZindagi app for daily updates on fitness, beauty, and a healthy lifestyle!
Comments
All Comments (0)
Join the conversation