There are so many times that we hear people use absolutely derogatory phrases and not realise the blunder that they have made with their words. A lot of times even you would have used certain phrases that have gotten extremely negative reactions from people and you didn’t know what was wrong with what you said. While we always provide you several tips and tricks, remedies and recipes, we also feel that we must show you the right from wrong. Today we are here to educate, not embarrass you. Here are a few phrases that you must stop using with immediate effect and what you must use instead.
I Am So Fat
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There are two problems with this phrase. The first one is that if you are someone who does not really come in the plus-size category and you use this phrase in front of someone who does, they will feel targeted. We generally hear this phrase when a bunch of us are hanging out and one girl decides to pinch out her belly and point at her ‘fat’. This phrase is used with a very disappointed tone. Even if the plus-size girl in the group had not been thinking about it, she would leave the party hating on herself and you would have caused it. Secondly, the factual error. Fat is something you have in your body, just like you have muscles in your body. Do you ever say “ I am muscle”? No right? So why would you say “I am fat”? Instead, you can use, “I am overweight”, “I am obese”, “I feel bloated”.
You might be thinking what is wrong with this phrase. Autism is a developmental disorder that impacts the nervous system of an individual. However, autism in no way defines who the person is. Adding the prefix of ‘Autistic’ before referring to the individual confines them to their disorder. While they want nothing but to be seen beyond their disorder, by using this phrase you are boxing them in their disorder. However, if you really want to point out at someone’s autism for whatsoever reason, the correct way to frame your words would be, “A girl/boy with autism”.
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We know you mean well when you ask someone to stop crying. However, sometimes it is important for you to let the person cry. Asking them to stop crying will only bottle up their feelings, leading to worse outbursts in the future. However, the phrase instantly takes you from being unaware of the right phrase to you being a misogynist if you find yourself saying “stop crying like a girl”. Not only will the phrase make the person who is crying feel pressurised to stop crying, but will also unnecessarily target all the women. There is no need to target an entire gender while trying to consoling someone. What you can say instead is, “You can talk to me if you want to.”, “I am here for you”, “It is okay to cry your eyes out, you will feel better.” Did you see how we soothed the person without throwing insults?
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I Am Depressed
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It is absolutely not okay to use this phrase until and unless you are diagnosed. Depression is not a mere emotion, but a full-fledged disorder(deal with depression during menopause). Let the professionals tell you if you are suffering from the disorder instead of you using it explicitly with no medical backing. Along with this, using the phrases “are you mental?”, “Are you bi-polar?” and many more mental health words must be stopped. Instead, you can say, “I have been feeling very dull/sad/upset/numb lately”.
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A phrase that is mostly used with good intentions, to make someone who is upset feel better, there is a major flaw here that might make the already upset person angry! For you to understand someone you should have experienced what they have been through. If you have not, then you in no way understand what the person is saying. Sometimes people can also feel that you are casually dismissing what they feel by using this phrase. What you can say instead is, “How can I help you?”, “Is there something I can do to make you feel better?”, “I am here for you.”
We hope you understood what is wrong with these phrases and will soon stop using them! If you liked this article, stay tuned to Her Zindagi for more such articles!