8 Women Tell Us How Talking About Sex With Friends Liberated Them

Even though India has the second largest population in the world after China, sex is still a taboo subject for most people. From kids to adults, we lack much-needed awareness on the topic. In many cases, even gynaecologists do not help if an unmarried woman seeks answers to satisfy her curiosity.

For many young women, either the internet or a circle of trustworthy friends provides a safe space to explore their curiosity regarding sexual pleasure, contraceptives, and hygiene, among other things. In a small survey, eight women told us about how liberated they feel about discussing taboo topics like sex with their friends. Some of them even shared a few pieces of advice that helped them in their journeys.

Anshika Sharma (25)

Anshika Sharma feels that talking about sex with friends has mostly been a way to express herself. For the first couple of times, she had sex, she did not experience orgasms.

Confused, she shared it with her friends who were sexually active at that time. However, her friends could not offer any advice, it was comforting for Sharma to know that she was not the only one with the ‘I didn’t orgasm’ query.

Sanya Kushwaha (26)

For Sanya Kushwaha, her friends were the primary source of information about sex. She learnt a lot from their experiences and has asked them questions ranging from consent to contraceptives. One of her friends also enlightened her about using lubricants to make the whole thing more enjoyable.

She says, “You can’t talk to your parents about these things, and sometimes even the internet does not satisfy your hunger to know more about such a sensitive subject.” Kushwaha finds talking to experienced friends is a better way, as they are a trusted source of information.

Aisha Gupta (24)

One of Aisha Gupta’s friends told her that one must always pee after sex in order to avoid infections. She swears by this practice and feels safe when she discusses sex with friends. Her circle often discusses taboo subjects like pleasure and sex.

Namrata Ganguly (26)

Namrata Ganguly was the only virgin in the flat she was sharing with her friends, during her undergrad years. She had never even watched porn and wanted to explore her sexuality.

She found it comforting to talk to her friends, who answered every question she had in mind. Not only that, she believes that having an open and trustworthy space allows you to understand what kind of incorrect perceptions you might have. The primary thing is that you would never feel left out.

From techniques to myths, Ganguly’s circle was open with her. They never gave her any misleading advice and had serious and fun discussions on the subject.

Shivi Singh (25)

Shivi Singh not only discusses sex with her friends but also self-pleasure. She has talked to them about contraception options, masturbation, sexually transmitted diseases, urinary tract infections, etc. After talking with her friends, Singh realised the importance of masturbation (masturbation for menstrual cramps) in relaxing the body.

Akanksha Agnihotri (26)

Akanksha Agnihotri thinks that talking about sex with friends is liberating because it helps you know that you are not the only one feeling certain things or having questions in mind.

It made her feel less of a freak when she finally decided to be intimate with her partner. A friend told Agnihotri that communication is the key to improving one's sex life, and wanting certain things in a certain way does not make you a prude or a pervert.

Prashasti Panday (26)

Prashasti Panday was nervous to take the plunge into physical intimacy with her partner. However, her sexually-active friends schooled her and helped her waive the nervousness. They also helped her smooth things over so that she could become more comfortable.

Aditi Aga (21)

Aditi Aga says that talking to friends about sex makes her feel comfortable. It has made her more accepting of her body. Her friends told her that it was her choice whether she wants to shave.

Aga’s confidants also told her that it was okay to communicate what she wanted and liked in bed. They have helped her shake off awkwardness about using lubricants (reasons to use lubricants) whenever needed.

Let us know in the Facebook comments how you feel about having sex chats with your friends. Share with us some good advice that they have imparted to you.