What Is The 5-3-1 Rule? The Wellness Ritual Everyone’s Talking About

When we think of wellness, we often picture healthy diets, exercise, and quality sleep. But what if well-being is also at the centre of our relationships? Just like physical and mental health, social fitness is essential in daily life and can be improved with a few intentional adjustments. That's the core belief of Kasley Killam, a sociologist who studied at Harvard and devised a simple wellness strategy called the 5-3-1 rule for cultivating healthier relationships.

What Is Social Fitness and Why It Is Important

The World Health Organization (WHO) links poor social health directly to increases in loneliness, depression, anxiety, and poor sleep.

"Since humans are inherently social beings, regular, meaningful social interaction helps regulate stress, improves emotional well-being, and supports healthier thinking patterns," notes Dr Rimpa Sarkar, Clinical Psychologist and Founder of Sentier Wellness, Mumbai. She adds that when we talk to others, we gain perspective, emotional validation, and clarity that we often can't reach on our own.

Anaita Arthur Veigas, Psychologist and Founder of Here Mind, Mumbai, adds that strong social connections act as a buffer against loneliness, anxiety, burnout, and overthinking. They give us a sense of belonging and emotional safety—something deeply essential for mental health.

The simple 5-3-1 social wellness formula can be applied by anyone looking to improve their social life.

What is the 5-3-1 Rule?

In her book, ‘The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health Is the Missing Key to Living’, Kasley Killam argues that our network of relationships is like a living organ: it needs regular care and nourishment to stay healthy.

Here is how the rule works:

5: Five different people or social groups should be met every week to naturally integrate more social life into your routine.

3: Every month, invest in three closer and meaningful relationships with people from your inner circle—those with whom you share an equal give-and-take dynamic.

1: Every day, spend one hour conversing with someone you love.

The idea behind the rule is to balance everyday interaction with deeper emotional bonding. Practising this helps keep loneliness at bay and improves overall life satisfaction.

Don't miss: The Rise of ‘Posting Zero’: Gen Z’s Quiet Rebellion Against Content Overload

Why Apply the 5-3-1 Rule?

In today's fast-paced, digitally driven world, many people are socially undernourished without realising it. Dr Sarkar highlights that busy schedules, long commutes, work-from-home routines, and social media have reduced opportunities for genuine connection.

In such a scenario, the 5-3-1 Rule offers a realistic, structured way to rebuild social fitness without causing overwhelm.

"It meets core psychological needs like belonging, validation, emotional support, identity formation, and community. When practised mindfully and flexibly, it helps improve mood, reduce stress, prevent isolation, and create a more emotionally balanced daily life,” Veigas concludes.

Don't miss: Social Media And Loneliness: Is Increased Online Connectivity Making Us More Isolated?

Image courtesy: Freepik

For more such stories, stay tuned to HerZindagi.