Emotional Vs. Physical Cheating: Which Is Worse? Relationship Experts Weigh In

The latest episode of 'Two Much With Kajol and Twinkle,' featuring Janhvi Kapoor and Karan Johar, has ignited the hottest debate in town: Is the betrayal of the heart worse than the betrayal of the body?

We consulted top mental health and relationship experts, including psychologist Nishtha Kavita Grover and behaviour strategist Vivek Vashist, to understand the differences between emotional and physical cheating, and determine which is worse. Their verdict? The answer is not simple—it depends on what your relationship values most.

The Distinction Between Physical And Emotional Cheating

The fundamental difference between the two forms of cheating lies in their visibility and ambiguity.

Physical cheating is defined as the concrete overstepping of an explicit boundary. As relationship expert Vivek Vashist notes, this one is simpler: "the body crosses a line," engaging in physical intimacy—be it sex, kissing, or touch—outside the relationship without a partner's consent or knowledge. It’s a clear behavioural breach of exclusivity.

Emotional cheating, conversely, is a complicated and often indefinable territory. Delhi-based psychologist Nishtha Kavita Grover defines it as one partner investing "romantic, intimate energy" into a third party, often forming deep emotional bonds.

This can look like sharing vulnerabilities, finding comfort in someone else, or feeling more admired and understood by a person other than your partner.

Vashist describes it as when your "heart starts wandering before your body does," noting that it’s less about sex and more about identity and attention. The secrecy is the key differentiator; emotional infidelity often starts innocently with empathy but becomes charged when that deep sharing is hidden from the primary partner, as the energy and care have "already shifted."

Emotional vs. Physical Cheating: Which Is Worse?

While society often condemns physical cheating more harshly because it is visible and easily defined, both forms of betrayal shatter the core foundations of a relationship: safety and mutual exclusivity.

Vashist encapsulates the emotional fallout perfectly: "Physical cheating breaks trust in the body. Emotional cheating breaks trust in the story."

Many individuals find they can forgive a one-night mistake but struggle profoundly with the gradual erosion of a secret, months-long emotional connection, believing the betrayal of intimate attention can, psychologically, cut deeper than the betrayal of touch.

Grover concurs, noting that partners are often devastated by the thought of the cheater "giving someone the closeness that was supposed to be mine." This secret sharing represents abandonment and profound disrespect for the "sacred us-world" they built together.

Ultimately, both experts agree that there is no clear answer. The worst kind of cheating is the one that the injured partner values—and fears—the most.

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Negative Effects Of Cheating

Beyond the immediate emotional impacts of shock and anger, cheating creates an "existential fracture," according to Vashist.

The damage isn't merely moral—it’s the destruction of the shared reality two people were living in. Cheating becomes problematic because it leads to the erosion of safety.

Partners go through identity and self-worth damage where they question if they were simply "not enough." This breach of trust registers physically, causing the body to tighten, the chest to burn, and the nervous system to live in a state of high vigilance.

Vashist also points out that for many, the quiet shift of a secret text thread is more devastating than a one-time physical encounter because "lust ends, but devoted attention lingers." Ultimately, while the form of cheating may vary, the true damage is the replacement of truth with performance. As Vashist concludes, "No relationship or person can stay whole inside a lie."

Don't miss: Why People Cheat: It’s Not About Right or Wrong, But the Situation

Image courtesy: Freepik

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