Even as the chilly winters give way to the beautiful spring, it’s that time of the year again when we feel uneasy because the tax season also comes upon us. It may seem like a very tedious task but it is something necessary that just needs to be done, no matter what. Investment, excel sheets, credit, taxes, survey, audits-are these not the words that give you creeps? With the commencement of the New Year, you are on pins and needles pressurised by the need to analyse things, and to keep your accounts clean against any hard possibilities. Even as we declare taxes and file for returns in monetary terms, what about the burden of emotional tax that we keep carrying with us throughout the year? To know about this, Her Zindagi talked to Maya Khandelwal, author of books which delve into the intricacies and vagaries of human relationships. Here’s what she had to share.

Keeping A Track Of Emotional Investments

happy indian couple inside

When it comes to personal relationships, what could be more personal than the one between two people who weave a new world out of the yarns of love, mutual trust and care? 

Whenever there's something new impending, the old and superfluous has to be removed to make room for the new. When you are enjoying conjugal bliss, there are certain pains too that have to be endured together but what if one betrays the other, crosses the thin lines and you feel duped? 

What if this emotional tax becomes too heavy to be carried? Were you at fault when you fondly nursed the thought that there might be no hard times? What if you invested yourself so entirely into the relationship but could not reap the harvest you hoped you would? 

Do we need any excel sheets to keep this emotional investment and the respective taxes balanced?

When you love, you are swept by the emotions and you spare not a moment of solitude to introspect. It's often too late to regret when the realisation dawns upon you that your affection was misplaced.

The Vulnerability In Long Distance Relationships

indian couple in car travelling inside

If you are in a long distance relationship and you think keeping in touch with the person twenty four seven is the only elixir to its life, you might be wrong. If you are not reciprocated well, you carry this emotional tax on your fragile shoulders and feel like caving in because you have actually got so habituated to the presence of the other person in your life that you feel shrunk off your essence while left on your own! 

So you messaged your partner and a few hours have slipped and the other person hasn't responded to your messages, missed calls, mails? Life is such a huge waste, right? Wrong! 

Love should be your strength, not your weakness. Love should be thrilling! If you are fortunate enough to have that mutual trust, the required commitment and the concern needed, the world is yours! Why fuss over trifles? Why this desperation? Why this insecurity? Why being so vulnerable?

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Absence Of Wakeful Perception

Love heralds joy in life but it often plays tricks too! It may rob you off your mental peace! It may leave you miserable! You might be a party animal who loves making friends, hurrahing life but are inwardly scared of being alone because it's when you are alone, emotional taxes get a hold of you! There's no escape! You are scared of your own conscience. The moment you reach your luxurious hotel, you start looking for the TV remote. Why? Because c’mon! What the hell are you going to do alone? Think? Introspect? Retrospect? No way! You need people to enjoy oblivion. You need happy shouts to drown the tiny voice inside your head that tells you where you have gone wrong. You need stupor, wine, ecstasy, pills to feel high and this drowns the sense of wakeful perception.

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Slip Into Introspection

virat kohli anushka sharma relationship

Watch out! The income tax officers dwelling inside you are going to clamour loud, overcome you. That's what you never wanted to have. You never wanted to realise how certain relationships in your life are weighing you down emotionally like corpses on your shoulders. The one who you have been sharing everything with, sharing your bed and pillow, carries a blankness in his or her eyes. The two of you living under the same roof don’t spend time together. You have ceased to feel the warmth that you bubbled up to the brim with. Sleep brings peace? That's a sham. Love has died an untimely death. Alas!

Would it not be better than to keep your excel sheet open within, go on testing the grounds, go on analysing the worth of your relationships? Invest where there's warmth? Possibilities are there. You just need to slip into the introspective mood time and again so that you might escape the need to pay taxes which may otherwise become too heavy to bear. 

Keep reading Her Zindagi to learn how celebs stay happy in their relationships, how to move on from a breakup or the science of finding a loyal man.

(Maya Khandelwal is the author of books such as Fireflies, A Beautiful Mistake and Just Zindagi. You can buy them online by following the links)