Navratri 2023: While Maa Kushmanda Signifies Good Health, Women Still Far From Prioritising Self-Love

It is day four of Chaitra Navratri when devotees offer prayers to Maa Kushmanda, who signifies warmth and cosmic energy. She has eight hands that holds a sword, a mace, a hook, an arrow, a bow, a trident, blood and two jars of honey. She is also referred to as Ashtbhuja (eight hands) Devi.

People worship her to be blessed with wealth, strength, and good health. But in reality, a woman’s health always takes a backseat. Even when she is ill, she keeps the house clean, looks after her kids and ensures that her family experiences no inconvenience.

Women’s Health Comes At Last

A woman’s health is usually the last concern for the family. Take for example periods. During menstruation, most women experience excruciating cramps, discomfort, mood swings, headache, and sometimes even fever. How many men in the world know about it and consider it a health issue while offering her a day off?

For centuries, periods have been brushed off as a monthly cycle, something that happens every month. In some parts of India, women are considered impure and asked to sleep on the floor and not enter the kitchen. It is presented in a way to seem better because at least she gets to rest for a few days rather than running through the house and assisting with the needs of the family.

Another example is contraception. We have several reports that point towards discomforts that come with hormonal oral contraceptive pills. Women have reported struggling with severe headaches, nausea and vomiting. Despite the ordeal of their partners, most men do not prefer to wear condoms because it allegedly hinders their pleasure.

Again putting their comfort ahead of their partner’s health. This discrimination does not end in the four walls of a bedroom. But recently, scientists have managed to come up with a solution to develop oral contraceptive pills for men which would contain zero hormones, thus eliminating the ‘usual’ side effects that women have been struggling with for decades now.

In 2022, the University of Birmingham published a report highlighting the need to mobilise investment towards pregnancy so that new medicines can be developed that can help make the gestation period a little less uncomfortable for women. Peter Brocklehurst, the co-author of the study, spoke to the Guardian and said, “We have simply not been touching pregnancy.”

Yes, there have been medical advancements in the field and there are more options available to women than before, yet medical science has not been able to make pregnancy a comfortable experience. This shows negligence towards an important cause. Nausea, vomiting, the inability to eat anything, etc. are considered “normal” symptoms when a woman is expecting a baby. How about some research that can tone down these issues and help a woman enjoy this time of her life?

For a long time, women have been putting the needs of their families and loved ones ahead of their own. During the pandemic, several reports surfaced that showed that women were working throughout the day, irrespective of the fact if they were homemakers or working.

When the lockdown was announced, everybody had this idea that anything can be cooked at home by taking instructions from YouTube. However, who spent the most time in the kitchens to cater to the lip-smacking demands of the family? Women.

Women are expected to be slim, fair, talented, and excellent at handling household responsibilities. Today, there is a demandon matrimonial sites for women who earn (financially dependent), know how to keep the house impeccably clean, can cook an array of dishes from multiple cuisines and must put her husband on a pedestal and follow each of his instructions.

Reasons For Sufferings Of Women

Women have been conditioned to cater to the needs of the family, while men remain the primary financial providers. However, many fail to comprehend the fact that women for ages have been assisting men at work.

If we speak about farming, the business of fisheries or taking care of animals at home, Indian women have been participants in an equal capacity. They have been working in farms, helping husbands to cut crops, sow seeds, and set up markets to sell fish and feed animals.

All of this in addition to getting up early in the morning, cooking breakfast and lunch for kids and elders at home and returning in the evening, cooking dinner and going off to sleep late at night.

She hardly has any energy left by the time her head hits the pillow. The ordeal of women in urban areas is not much better. While many of them have house help, they keep juggling their duties between work and home.

This lifestyle has been termed normal. It is called becoming responsible for the family. Who is responsible for her health? Who takes the onus of reminding her that she needs a day off and must spend an hour of the day at least doing what she loves?

Despite doing it all, she is often the victim of body-shaming and judged for the choices she makes. She has two hands and juggles hundreds of tasks in a day only to be scrutinised by society for not being on par with its patriarchal standards. For ages, rules have always been for women, while relaxation has been the norm for men.

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What More Can Be Done?

As a society, we need to progress more and at a rapid pace. We have to make sure that our sons are equally capable of taking care of the house and kids.

Our scientists need to focus more on the health of women and how more comfort can be introduced into their lives. There needs to be more awareness around periods, pregnancy and pleasure.

The most important aspect is women need to realise their worth and prioritise self-love. She needs to know that she is perfect the way she is and does not have to adhere to anyone’s concept of an ‘ideal woman.’

She must love all her curves, stretch marks, and anything else that is termed ‘imperfect’ or a ‘flaw’ by society. She should flaunt it unapologetically. Prioritising self-love might not reduce the burden of responsibilities, but a woman can surely aspire to be happier.

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You should be able to able to leave your kids in the presence of their father, not feel guilty about spending time with friends, while your husband takes after the family, you should not be the one guiding the help all the time about what to cook, eat first if you are hungry rather than waiting for everyone, take a day off to rest and spend at least an hour of your day taking care of yourself, take a solo trip, order you favourite dessert and purchase your dream dress.

Be unapologetic about your choices and do what pleases you.