Actor Saeed Jaffrey heartfelt letter for his ex-wife has surfaced on the internet. In 2015, a Facebook page, ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ shared an old letter from his personal diary on the internet, revealing some bitter truths about how his first marriage fell apart and how he later regretted it. Putting in focus his personal life and the dualities of picking gloss over the soul, Saeed’s personal account is a big learning for the generations dealing with the same conflict.
Here are some excerpts from the same:
Don’t Try To Change Your Partner
Unconditional love should be the abiding principle of any relationship. There’s no together-forever but at least we can try building our lives around this narrative since love calls acceptance. Accepting people for who they are and not making an attempt into changing them according to our whims and fancies. Saeed explains this further when he writes, “I was 19 when I was married to Mehrunima and she was 17. As I grew up, I learned to speak English fluently, wore suits, and developed impeccable etiquettes. But Mehrunima grew up to be my complete opposite - a typical housewife. And she was not what I wanted.”
Constant Arguing
Couples who seem to keep having the same argument over and over again get distant. They feel they are not being heard or appreciated. Many find it hard to see other’s point of view, which further leads to arguments without reaching a peaceful conclusion, leading to divorce. Saeed wrote, “all my advices and admonishments couldn't change her basic personality and I didn’t want her. More I tried to change her, more we drifted apart. After 10 years, l gave her divorce and left her."
Regret Sets In
What might seem to be a brighter side of life might not be the case as you get immersed further. Leaving your partner or present for a better future, might not always lead to happy endings. Saeed regretted his decision of leaving his first wife, who showered unlimited love and affection towards him. “For about 6-7 months everything went well. Then I started realizing, my new wife was not caring and affectionate. She was only concerned about her beauty, her ambitions, her wants, and desires. Sometimes I missed Mehrunima's caring touch and concern for my welfare. But, life moved on and we were 2 different persons living in the same house."
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Believe Your Partner
Never force your wishes on your partner and let her bloom at her own pace. So just love her. Saeed was awestruck by the way Mehrunima changed into Madhur Jaffrey. The actor cum show host and writer, Madhur completely evolved into a new person. He wrote, “under her second husband's selfless love and acceptance, she bloomed into a confident, loving, affectionate, self-reliant lady."
So, cherish every moment spend with your partner and think before you take big steps.
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