The relationship landscape is evolving tremendously and very often we get to hear new trends popping up on social media. Recently, a new trend ‘Living Apart Together’ surfaced on the internet and soon became a popular choice among the GenZs. While on one hand long-distance relationships are becoming a major reason for breakups among millennials, GenZs are adopting this trend wholeheartedly. We spoke to Tammy Nelson, Board Certified Sexologist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Imago Relationship Therapist, and Licensed Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselor to understand the challenges and benefits of this trend.
Tammy said, “Living apart together means a long distance, committed relationship.” She highlighted that many couples live in separate places, in separate homes, while still maintaining their monogamy agreement, and they manage to stay together. They may live apart temporarily for their job, or for financial reasons, or they could live apart for their entire marriage.
According to Tammy, it can be helpful for some couples, giving them each space to pursue their individual lives and make the most of their financial goals. This may be a way to build a future household or save for retirement. Additionally, it allows couples to maintain their bond while avoiding conflicts that arise due to cohabitation. People who prefer to maintain their individuality and independence are more likely to opt for this trend.
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If you are opting for this trend, here are the ways you can make it work:
According to Tammy, to navigate a LAT relationship, stay in touch. Stay in touch in the way that works for each of you. Know that you may have different ideas of what 'staying in touch' may mean. She suggests finding ways to stay in touch. For instance, if writing letters is meaningful to you, send cards and handwritten letters to your partner every week. If you want visuals, send them photos. In other words, give what you want to receive.
The essence of physical proximity in relationships can not be ignored, however, it’s not possible in LAT. Tammy recommends meeting your partner at least once a week on a facetime platform, where you can see one another. Share your expectations about how often you should text or talk. You may expect daily contact while your partner doesn't need to check in every day. You can set up a regular date, just like you would if you lived together.
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