Breaking The Silence: ‘18 Months Without Intimacy’; How To Reignite Marital Spark

A marriage without physical intimacy is far more common between couples, and the rate at which they admit it is very low. In real-world scenarios, it is very difficult for couples to admit, as it comes with various social commentaries. In reality, many couples go on for months or even years without talking about it, and hope that it will improve on its own. Dr Chandni Tugnait,  MD (A.M), Psychotherapist, Life Alchemist, Coach & Healer, Founder & Director, Gateway of Healing, says, ‘Talking about sex is still something Indian couples are not used to, so it feels easier for them to let things be as it is’. The trouble about no communication about their sex lives is that the longer they keep quiet about it, the further they tend to drift apart. 

Why Do Couples Go On Without Talking About Physical Intimacy?  

The majority of couples facing sexless marriages refuse to talk about it; in Indian societies, talking about sex comes with shame, and putting forward your desires and issues sometimes creates distance between them. 

Embarrassment Associated With Lack Of Intimacy

Many people refuse to talk about it, as it makes them feel embarrassed, and they might start wondering if something is wrong with them. Some people start to worry that their partner isn’t attracted to them, and others feel bad about themselves and how they simply don’t like being intimate the way they did earlier. 

Silence Creates Distance

The longer a couple goes without talking about their bedroom life, the more it starts to show up in their public life. They might hug less, or talk only about kids and bills. All this ultimately makes them feel irritated with each other. In the end, they feel like they are simply two people sharing a house. One person may feel rejected, and the other might feel pressured, creating loneliness in the same house. 

How To Reignite Marital Spark?

Here are some ways in which you can improve your intimate relationship with your partner, without feeling ashamed about it: 

Start The Conversation 

If you cannot be upfront about your sexual feelings, you can choose a time or place to share your innermost thoughts with your partner. Find a time when you and your partner are calm, as speaking about feelings rather than playing the blame game makes a huge difference. You can start by saying that ‘I miss being close to you’ rather than ‘Why don’t you ever want to be with me?’ Speaking about your issues in this way is much more likely to open up a conversation rather than shut it down. 

Rebuild Closeness Slowly

Intimacy doesn't have to begin with sex; start by holding hands, hugging, sitting close while watching a movie, or even spending time together can bring a sense of comfort and connection. Taking the pressure off often helps both partners feel more relaxed with each other again.

ALSO READ- Breaking The Silence: Dating As A Single Parent And Finding Love Amid Responsibilities

When Should You Seek Professional Help? 

Sometimes the reason behind it is a health problem, stress that just won’t go away, or bigger issues between the two of them that haven’t been dealt with. In such cases, it’s a good idea to see a doctor or sit down with a couples therapist, and nobody should feel embarrassed about doing that when their marriage means so much to them.

Key Takeaways 

A sexless phase doesn’t mean that a marriage has failed, and it is usually a sign that something between the couple needs attention. The sooner partners stop hiding it and start talking honestly, the better their chances of finding their way back to each other. 

(Image Credits: IMDb)

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