Hallmark Christmas movies from Hollywood and winters go hand-in-hand and despite their predictability, I’ve usually felt myself being unusually drawn to watch them nonetheless. However, just out of curiosity, this time I decided to explore some Bollywood Christmas movies. While I didn’t find any specific ones with Christmas at its centre, boy was I surprised.
I never knew half of these existed, and now I partly wish I never went on this wild ride! But now that I have, why should I suffer alone? Here are instances of Bollywood Christmas depictions I was perhaps better off without watching.
1. Bollywood's version of Jingle Bells
The quintessential ‘Jingle Bells’ gets a Bollywood makeover with ‘Aaata Hai Aaata Hai’ with an extra dose of Christmas cringe! Reindeers become hiran and its is ok to sing “Marry Chreeesmaas”
Don’t get me started with the oh-so-fake Santa moustache and beard…there are so many unanswered questions!
If it’s snowing, why is the kid in a sleeveless dress? Is that a shiny glittery sun in the distance? What are those little girls with golden wings supposed to be? Are those Himalayas in the distance?
Well, nothing could have prepared me for this Hindi version of Jingle Bells from the movie Shaandar. I’m sure Kishore Kumar’s voice is likely to make some nostalgic, but really, that too couldn’t redeem this for me. Santa’s dancing eyebrows at 1:19, his bum pushes to the children at 2:25 are going to haunt my dreams for a while now.
2. Christmas "Miracle"
Let’s not get into the acting…or the lack of it.
Move over Ravinder Singh and other cardboard messaging trend-setters on Instagram, Varun Dhawan did it way before you guys, back in 2015, in the movie Dilwale!
In a lacklustre attempt to bring Christmas magic to proposals, this scene may as well qualify for worst attempts at brand integrations.
“Kehte hai Christmas ke din sach bolna chahiye (They say you must only speak the truth on Christmas),” he says during his proposal. Umm, that’s a very new Christmas saying I’m hearing of for the first time! Also, if it wasn’t for Christmas, wouldn’t you still need to speak the truth while proposing to the love of your life?
And no, really nobody should attempt the trademark SRK pose to attempt to look as charming as only he can.
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3. Where's Christmas?
At the very outset, I didn’t hate this one, but hear me out.
This is the title track of the movie Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu, which released in the year 2012, starring Kareena Kapoor and Imran Khan. Yeah, you’re wondering what’s the link with Christmas, right?
Well, the sequence is supposedly of them meeting for a few drinks on Christmas eve. If you look very closely, you’ll even spot a Christmas tree in the background at 3:58. That’s about it, of all the Christmas references there is in the movie.
It’s funny because this song is precisely how most of India celebrates Christmas anyway, with all the drinking and dancing without really deep diving into what Christmas is all about.
4. Where's Christmas? (pt.2)
A fun song from the movie Two States, you get a brief reference to Christmas during the changing seasons and celebrations. Fake snow and drinks; what more does one need to depict Christmas, right?
As you may well have understood by now, during my arduous quest to find a suitable Christmas movie, I landed upon gems of various kinds, but failed to find a cheery, holiday-spirit-inducing Bollywood movie that shows Christmas in its true glory. Instead I ended up watching Lindsay Lohan’s Falling For Christmas on Netflix, which was predictable from the word go, but hey, at least it actually has Christmas!